For the past days, I haven't felt as productive as I would want to be. I have felt feelings that I am actually wasting my life. Here's how my 2 days went.
September 2
For today, I ave no idea on what I'm supposed to do. I'm home alone and I really can't think about anything. I want to read. I want to write, but I am not.
Why? Is it just because it's a term break, I don't have the motivation to do anything? I'm really having a hard time figuring our my priorities now and it's really messing me up a bit.
I know as a college student, I must know to relax, but I can't help to remind myself that I have responsibilities and duties that I have to take care of whenever I do these blogs and that I must man up to those responsibilities and do them.
I guess I tire myself too much at some point that sometimes I fail to relax and so, when I do, I actually do nothing with my life.
Today
Well, today, ... Well, yesterday, my friend asked me to model for them and I racked my brains out for clothes that I could wear. I'm not technically a girly girl.
So we went out this morning and I can actually see how confident I have gone and how my high school friends used to view me. I guess, I was really not outgoing then because today, they asked me if it was okay that we commute to places. It felt okay. I mean, I did feel safe when I was with them, which I am thankful for, but also, I had a lot of fun.
I want to be like them. I want to live my life as it is and go places, but I feel too bound by my surroundings that I am not sure of that I am supposed to do.
I have to do this. I have to do that, but I want to do something else.
Priorities. I have to figure mine out. The things I have planned to do and the things that I said I would do last Monday, I still haven't done them today. Why.
I think I've been too used to people telling me this and telling me that, but they never really do it. I don't want to be like them. I want to be like the old me that actually does what she is told and isn't sufficed with mediocracy.
Miyerkules, Setyembre 3, 2014
Linggo, Agosto 31, 2014
8 Days
So it's been 8 days since I wrote one.
Maybe it was out of not having the interest to do it? Then again, maybe it was because I wasn't in the mood to.
The past couple of days, I haven't been myself. More like the past term. Haha. But I'll try to recall all that I've done through the past 8 days to the best of my capabilities.
I'll also recall August 23rd because I noticed I wasn't able to make a blog entry for that as well.
AUGUST 23
That day, I guess I just forgot to write a blog post, which says a lot about my remembering skills. I guess, we can't take it out of Filipinos that "ningas-kugon" kind of thinking. But at most, we can simply make the best out of it? In a way that, even if we are "ningas-kugon," we'll still find a way to go back to our tracks.
We shouldn't stop the moment we know we aren't doing the thing we did last week, we should still continue because we know it's for our own good.
AUGUST 25
We had no classes this day and instead of studying for my INTFILO exam as I should have been the past few days, I was doing nothing.
I was watching series, movies, and all that rather than studying. Gosh! I was even reading a book that I wasn't supposed to rather than the one I am really supposed to read. This says something about my studying habit.
I know, I know. I've already told myself to get it back together and actually work hard this time, but I don't know. I think it's becoming a habit of mine that I have to change.
I don't always have to cram, but I do. Luckily enough, I did great on the finals I had for this week, but I can't shag off the feeling that I am capable of so much more and I am not doing it.
AUGUST 26
For this entry, I'd like to recall one incident. I'm not technically sure of when it actually happened, I think that it was on the 23rd, but I'll write it now.
Oh, by the way, today, finals got cancelled. Not that I have any finals today, but the cancellation of classes really brought up some messed up schedules that no one really needed. This also affected one of the finals I had on the 30th, but more on that on the 30th day.
As for the incident on August 23rd, as stated in my other blogs, on of my friends talked to me about something and that something was also part of something about our friend.
Now this friend, she doesn't have to study and she's really smart. I used to not like people like that, but my friend opened my eyes that these people are amazing and I should not "hate" them or be annoyed of them.
I just get really annoyed because they seem to know everything and I get even more annoyed that they can back it up. I know my argument was weak, but I just had to say it to let it out. Again, I haven't been myself for the past term. I have been very grumpy and sad and not me.
I used to have this motto that, smile everyday because what's the point of being sad? For the past term, I have been nothing but sad because of reasons unknown to even me. Going back, that day, that friend and I talked with a couple bunch of friends and we hanged out.
She told us about her childhood a bit and how she really can't help it because her brain runs 2x faster than the ordinary. Maybe, I'm not sure, I was about to get annoyed, but I didn't. Because I remember that I also say, people are people, they have their reasons and we have to accept them for who they are.
But I'd like to be her some day. I'd like to be that girl who knows it all and can back everything that she says. But not too much because I'd hate to be the person that I used to get annoyed of. Maybe a better version, yeah.
AUGUST 27
Day before our BASFIN1 exam and again, I did not study. My Mother told me that my studying time was at night and that she knows. But again, I can't shake the feeling that I could study earlier and make more use of my time and use it wisely.
Then again, when I study during the morning, I can't seem to focus. I can only focus if I study in the morning when I'm outside and I'm walking.
We moved to Manila several years ago and moved to another house because they said that our old one was going to get demolished. It still hasn't, just so you know. Anyways, there.
There is really no room to walk around here, but this home is more of what I could really ask of. So yeah, I wasn't able to write a blog post because I had to study, but I ended up studying until 1 AM and just wasting my time until 2 AM.
I study relaxed, but still no excuse.
AUGUST 28
Today, I found out that I technically didn't have to study for my exam. Hay.
Oh well, but the professor did say that I lost nothing out of it, which made a good point. I like our professor on this subject. He's really nice and caring about his students and makes me really want to thank him as a professor.
He really cares and I want to be like that one day. He cares and he does everything he can to help everyone he can. He doesn't care if you do this and you do that because he allows you to experience things and allows you room for mistakes.
There really should me more teachers like him rather than teachers who spoon feed you things that you don't really need. This professor teaches students that life isn't that hard. Well, students already somehow know that. But this professor doesn't do "revenge" kind of teaching. He says life isn't that hard because you just have to find the right groove to it.
It isn't all about memorization and stuff because even Doctors have their instructions to follow. It's about understanding the concept and actually knowing what it means.
I want to study like that someday, understand and not memorize, so that I can remember all these topics even when I'm older. I want to retain the knowledge that I get from my high-priced education. I WANT TO RETAIN KNOWLEDGE.
AUGUST 29
The day wherein I'm supposed to study INTFILO, but I'm not. Again, lazy me. That's just how my day went. My family went out and I went with them even though I was supposed to study. Oh, I remember something from the 27th. I was supposed to be studying, but I went to school to pass a paper for my little sister, which kept me really annoyed because sometimes, I don't like her cramming because she can't deliver for herself. She has to ask huge help from other people in order to do this.
Going back, we went outside and I was reading the book I was supposed to for my INTFILO exam, but I never really finished it.
I paid more attention to "repairing" my worn our 4-5 years ago shoes because I didn't like what my Mom liked and we couldn't find anything nice and because there's a debut I have to attend tomorrow.
I slept late once again, wasting my time, but I am glad that I had a bonding time with my Mom. Just so sad that things aren't the same anymore. I can see that we're all repulsive and I plan to change that today, September 1.
I want to feel the love emanating and oozing out of my family from now on and stop looking like we're a hard ass.
AUGUST 30
Today is our group oral exam in INTFILO and you have no idea what we had to do for a reschedule even though it was just simple. When classes got canceled that Tuesday, the exams got moved to next Tuesday, but someone said that the Accounting exams be moved this Saturday.
Therefore, my two other group mates, (when writing numbers, I remember when my friend told me about a rule and I just researched it know) had exams on Saturday from 12-3. AND we also scheduled our group oral exam from 3-330 PM. What a luck, huh?
My group mates had exams the whole week and we didn't really got the chance to review. There was even this incident last Friday when one of my group mates and I went to school to study, but I ended up finishing something else. I felt so bad because my priorities were getting mixed up and I was not able to manage my time properly. Also, I am not able to keep up with my "resolutions" that I made in MOVE-EL, even now. I have nothing else to do and I still sleep late and I still wake up late. It really saddens me, but I have been really tired.
Going back, after their examinations, I decided to buy food for my friends and then, we studied. My friend, Tony, was a really big help because he actually lent me his phone, so I could just simply study the summaries of the chapters rather than reading the whole book as we were asked to do so. Thing is, with that summary, there was already an analysis and it allowed me to understand the book even more.
I like the way Tony is the kind of friend that really helped you no questions asked. He doesn't think of what he gains and loses when he helps, he just does. I wish I could be like that some day. He's a very selfless person. Also, I like the way that he is smart in his own way, like we are all smart in our own way.
Later on, we had the exam, I won't elaborate about the rules any further, but we did quite well. Our professor said that she thought that our group was the best group or that we were just really prepared. We got a high grade from that exam.
I want to realize the great things I have when I have them, like group mates, and not when we're about to part.
Exercise doesn't happen every other day as well for an hour. Or even for 30 minutes. My right knee and ankle, not really ankle, but somewhere down there really hurts when I start to run or something. Hay.
Also, today's the debut of my friend and I really didn't get something for her. I wore a dress and Tony went wit me to get make up on. I decided that I must learn to place make up for myself, so that we don't have to keep spending on it. It was a fun night. BLOCK MATES <3.
AUGUST 31
Today, woke up late. Slept late. Watched series whole day. Not sure if it was worth it, but was really just fun. I am going to sleep early tomorrow and make most out of my time. Hay, Mel. Work harder.
TODAY
Last night, I started to reflect on myself and how I wanted to change how I am. I want to go back to being the kid for my parents, so they know that I love them. My brother and mother's birthday are coming up as well.
Also, I planned today that I'd clean the house and totally forgot about the idea that my friends and I are supposed to make a paper today, but we do not know where to meet. I guess, to be postponed for tomorrow. I'll just finish this blog post. Finish the episode I'm watching, go downstairs, take a bath, go to school, and then, contact my friend. Or maybe I should contact my friend first before I go to school. Yup. That's the better idea.
By the way, I'm going to school to get some papers and not to meet my friend because that friend studies at UP Diliman. Haha.
Anyways, September. I'm going to be an improved and better me for you. Or for me as well. :D
Maybe it was out of not having the interest to do it? Then again, maybe it was because I wasn't in the mood to.
The past couple of days, I haven't been myself. More like the past term. Haha. But I'll try to recall all that I've done through the past 8 days to the best of my capabilities.
I'll also recall August 23rd because I noticed I wasn't able to make a blog entry for that as well.
AUGUST 23
That day, I guess I just forgot to write a blog post, which says a lot about my remembering skills. I guess, we can't take it out of Filipinos that "ningas-kugon" kind of thinking. But at most, we can simply make the best out of it? In a way that, even if we are "ningas-kugon," we'll still find a way to go back to our tracks.
We shouldn't stop the moment we know we aren't doing the thing we did last week, we should still continue because we know it's for our own good.
AUGUST 25
We had no classes this day and instead of studying for my INTFILO exam as I should have been the past few days, I was doing nothing.
I was watching series, movies, and all that rather than studying. Gosh! I was even reading a book that I wasn't supposed to rather than the one I am really supposed to read. This says something about my studying habit.
I know, I know. I've already told myself to get it back together and actually work hard this time, but I don't know. I think it's becoming a habit of mine that I have to change.
I don't always have to cram, but I do. Luckily enough, I did great on the finals I had for this week, but I can't shag off the feeling that I am capable of so much more and I am not doing it.
AUGUST 26
For this entry, I'd like to recall one incident. I'm not technically sure of when it actually happened, I think that it was on the 23rd, but I'll write it now.
Oh, by the way, today, finals got cancelled. Not that I have any finals today, but the cancellation of classes really brought up some messed up schedules that no one really needed. This also affected one of the finals I had on the 30th, but more on that on the 30th day.
As for the incident on August 23rd, as stated in my other blogs, on of my friends talked to me about something and that something was also part of something about our friend.
Now this friend, she doesn't have to study and she's really smart. I used to not like people like that, but my friend opened my eyes that these people are amazing and I should not "hate" them or be annoyed of them.
I just get really annoyed because they seem to know everything and I get even more annoyed that they can back it up. I know my argument was weak, but I just had to say it to let it out. Again, I haven't been myself for the past term. I have been very grumpy and sad and not me.
I used to have this motto that, smile everyday because what's the point of being sad? For the past term, I have been nothing but sad because of reasons unknown to even me. Going back, that day, that friend and I talked with a couple bunch of friends and we hanged out.
She told us about her childhood a bit and how she really can't help it because her brain runs 2x faster than the ordinary. Maybe, I'm not sure, I was about to get annoyed, but I didn't. Because I remember that I also say, people are people, they have their reasons and we have to accept them for who they are.
But I'd like to be her some day. I'd like to be that girl who knows it all and can back everything that she says. But not too much because I'd hate to be the person that I used to get annoyed of. Maybe a better version, yeah.
AUGUST 27
Day before our BASFIN1 exam and again, I did not study. My Mother told me that my studying time was at night and that she knows. But again, I can't shake the feeling that I could study earlier and make more use of my time and use it wisely.
Then again, when I study during the morning, I can't seem to focus. I can only focus if I study in the morning when I'm outside and I'm walking.
We moved to Manila several years ago and moved to another house because they said that our old one was going to get demolished. It still hasn't, just so you know. Anyways, there.
There is really no room to walk around here, but this home is more of what I could really ask of. So yeah, I wasn't able to write a blog post because I had to study, but I ended up studying until 1 AM and just wasting my time until 2 AM.
I study relaxed, but still no excuse.
AUGUST 28
Today, I found out that I technically didn't have to study for my exam. Hay.
Oh well, but the professor did say that I lost nothing out of it, which made a good point. I like our professor on this subject. He's really nice and caring about his students and makes me really want to thank him as a professor.
He really cares and I want to be like that one day. He cares and he does everything he can to help everyone he can. He doesn't care if you do this and you do that because he allows you to experience things and allows you room for mistakes.
There really should me more teachers like him rather than teachers who spoon feed you things that you don't really need. This professor teaches students that life isn't that hard. Well, students already somehow know that. But this professor doesn't do "revenge" kind of teaching. He says life isn't that hard because you just have to find the right groove to it.
It isn't all about memorization and stuff because even Doctors have their instructions to follow. It's about understanding the concept and actually knowing what it means.
I want to study like that someday, understand and not memorize, so that I can remember all these topics even when I'm older. I want to retain the knowledge that I get from my high-priced education. I WANT TO RETAIN KNOWLEDGE.
AUGUST 29
The day wherein I'm supposed to study INTFILO, but I'm not. Again, lazy me. That's just how my day went. My family went out and I went with them even though I was supposed to study. Oh, I remember something from the 27th. I was supposed to be studying, but I went to school to pass a paper for my little sister, which kept me really annoyed because sometimes, I don't like her cramming because she can't deliver for herself. She has to ask huge help from other people in order to do this.
Going back, we went outside and I was reading the book I was supposed to for my INTFILO exam, but I never really finished it.
I paid more attention to "repairing" my worn our 4-5 years ago shoes because I didn't like what my Mom liked and we couldn't find anything nice and because there's a debut I have to attend tomorrow.
I slept late once again, wasting my time, but I am glad that I had a bonding time with my Mom. Just so sad that things aren't the same anymore. I can see that we're all repulsive and I plan to change that today, September 1.
I want to feel the love emanating and oozing out of my family from now on and stop looking like we're a hard ass.
AUGUST 30
Today is our group oral exam in INTFILO and you have no idea what we had to do for a reschedule even though it was just simple. When classes got canceled that Tuesday, the exams got moved to next Tuesday, but someone said that the Accounting exams be moved this Saturday.
Therefore, my two other group mates, (when writing numbers, I remember when my friend told me about a rule and I just researched it know) had exams on Saturday from 12-3. AND we also scheduled our group oral exam from 3-330 PM. What a luck, huh?
My group mates had exams the whole week and we didn't really got the chance to review. There was even this incident last Friday when one of my group mates and I went to school to study, but I ended up finishing something else. I felt so bad because my priorities were getting mixed up and I was not able to manage my time properly. Also, I am not able to keep up with my "resolutions" that I made in MOVE-EL, even now. I have nothing else to do and I still sleep late and I still wake up late. It really saddens me, but I have been really tired.
Going back, after their examinations, I decided to buy food for my friends and then, we studied. My friend, Tony, was a really big help because he actually lent me his phone, so I could just simply study the summaries of the chapters rather than reading the whole book as we were asked to do so. Thing is, with that summary, there was already an analysis and it allowed me to understand the book even more.
I like the way Tony is the kind of friend that really helped you no questions asked. He doesn't think of what he gains and loses when he helps, he just does. I wish I could be like that some day. He's a very selfless person. Also, I like the way that he is smart in his own way, like we are all smart in our own way.
Later on, we had the exam, I won't elaborate about the rules any further, but we did quite well. Our professor said that she thought that our group was the best group or that we were just really prepared. We got a high grade from that exam.
I want to realize the great things I have when I have them, like group mates, and not when we're about to part.
Exercise doesn't happen every other day as well for an hour. Or even for 30 minutes. My right knee and ankle, not really ankle, but somewhere down there really hurts when I start to run or something. Hay.
Also, today's the debut of my friend and I really didn't get something for her. I wore a dress and Tony went wit me to get make up on. I decided that I must learn to place make up for myself, so that we don't have to keep spending on it. It was a fun night. BLOCK MATES <3.
AUGUST 31
Today, woke up late. Slept late. Watched series whole day. Not sure if it was worth it, but was really just fun. I am going to sleep early tomorrow and make most out of my time. Hay, Mel. Work harder.
TODAY
Last night, I started to reflect on myself and how I wanted to change how I am. I want to go back to being the kid for my parents, so they know that I love them. My brother and mother's birthday are coming up as well.
Also, I planned today that I'd clean the house and totally forgot about the idea that my friends and I are supposed to make a paper today, but we do not know where to meet. I guess, to be postponed for tomorrow. I'll just finish this blog post. Finish the episode I'm watching, go downstairs, take a bath, go to school, and then, contact my friend. Or maybe I should contact my friend first before I go to school. Yup. That's the better idea.
By the way, I'm going to school to get some papers and not to meet my friend because that friend studies at UP Diliman. Haha.
Anyways, September. I'm going to be an improved and better me for you. Or for me as well. :D
Linggo, Agosto 24, 2014
Tonight's not the Night
Tonight's not the night I'm going to tell everything that I have been up to lately. Tomorrow will be the night.
Today, I just relaxed and chilled and I'm sorry I didn't sleep early yesterday even if I had nothing to do.
Tonight, I will. And always wake up before 10 AM.
MUST STUDY. WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
Today, I just relaxed and chilled and I'm sorry I didn't sleep early yesterday even if I had nothing to do.
Tonight, I will. And always wake up before 10 AM.
MUST STUDY. WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
Biyernes, Agosto 22, 2014
Not sleeping in time again.
It has been two straight days that I haven't slept at 10:30 PM. I'm thinking this is what you call taking one for the team.
I've been helping my little sister and my group mates in our requirement. Then again, someone reminded me that this is normal for me and that I shouldn't over react with the work load I have. So I'm not. And I have that friend to thank.
Anyways, I won't write long today. Will write longer ones for the upcoming days. Just too busy tonight.
I've been helping my little sister and my group mates in our requirement. Then again, someone reminded me that this is normal for me and that I shouldn't over react with the work load I have. So I'm not. And I have that friend to thank.
Anyways, I won't write long today. Will write longer ones for the upcoming days. Just too busy tonight.
Huwebes, Agosto 21, 2014
The 2nd Post Of The Day
As I was saying, this is the next post of today. I actually figured a lot of things about myself lately.
I LACK MOTIVATION.
I HAVE BEEN LACKING MOTIVATION.
Last night, I wanted to do school work, but I didn't. I just passed my time. Today, I didn't do anything that would matter. I want to change this. I was also exercising and I couldn't even finish what I started. I really feel disappointed at myself.
It seems that I only do things when the sun is no longer shining. I don't like this. I must change this. I must find it in me to do things as soon as I can and finish them.
I LACK MOTIVATION.
I also see the mediocrity of my work. It disappoints me. It's like it's not in me anymore to excel and that's kind of shameful to say, considering that I'm part of the MOVE-EL program.
But I guess, as I have said before, MOVE-EL most probably came at the right time for me.
Therefore, check list:
- I must get motivation.
- I must do things as soon as I can.
I don't know if it's clear with you, guys. SEE. I CAN'T EVEN FINISH THAT LIST. MY MIND KEEPS ON JUMPING FROM ONE IDEA TO ANOTHER. Okay, continuing that list..
- Read.
- Do school work.
- Don't let a day pass without knowing something knew.
- Sleep early.
But, with all the things I have to work on, I would like to commend myself as well..
Good job on sleeping early. Now, wake up early. Okay? Also, good job on getting yourself slightly back together. :)
Finally did it!
As I was ranting in my last post, I wanted to be able to sleep early and yesterday, I was able to! Thus, explaining my lack of post yesterday.
I'll be making 2 today. So for yesterday, (I keep repeating the word "day." Haha.) I got some sense knocked into me by a person I actually trust.
I know I haven't been acting like myself lately and I know I've been quite rude and mean, it was, I don't know, good to have someone tell me that I was acting in a wrong way. Maybe I'm not mature enough to figure it out myself or maybe I am just too dramatic of a person to really act about it myself. Yet again, another thing I must work on.
So last night, I got to sleep at, what? Quarter to 10 PM? I was forcing myself to actually sleep at 10:30 PM, but my body could no longer take. *I wanted to sleep at 10:30 because I don't want to end up waking in the middle of the night and sleeping again.* Tonight, I'll sleep by 10:30 again. :>
Just so I get to post twice today, I'll post the other one after this. Haha. Cheater? I'm not really sure. :))
I'll be making 2 today. So for yesterday, (I keep repeating the word "day." Haha.) I got some sense knocked into me by a person I actually trust.
I know I haven't been acting like myself lately and I know I've been quite rude and mean, it was, I don't know, good to have someone tell me that I was acting in a wrong way. Maybe I'm not mature enough to figure it out myself or maybe I am just too dramatic of a person to really act about it myself. Yet again, another thing I must work on.
So last night, I got to sleep at, what? Quarter to 10 PM? I was forcing myself to actually sleep at 10:30 PM, but my body could no longer take. *I wanted to sleep at 10:30 because I don't want to end up waking in the middle of the night and sleeping again.* Tonight, I'll sleep by 10:30 again. :>
Just so I get to post twice today, I'll post the other one after this. Haha. Cheater? I'm not really sure. :))
Martes, Agosto 19, 2014
So much for sleeping early.
We had this thing, when we were in Batangas, wherein we would write on a piece of paper what we would actually change about ourselves.
Most of what I could remember told me that I was supposed to lose weight and sleep earlier, but that still isn't happening and it has only been Day 3/4 (because it's already 2:04 AM) since that Batangas day.
I really want to keep those changes and make them happen, if that makes any sense, which I think it does. I guess I need more initiative myself on doing so and actually start early and not waste time.
Then again, I think I am doing too much and I don't get time to rest enough anymore and spend time with my friends and maybe that's why I'm giving myself this lax time.
Oh well, now or never, right? I guess now would be the perfect time to start than any.
I don't know what I am typing. Everything's just word vomit. Gahd. Is my grammar even correct? :( Oh, help me. I'm having multiple typos while writing this.
Most of what I could remember told me that I was supposed to lose weight and sleep earlier, but that still isn't happening and it has only been Day 3/4 (because it's already 2:04 AM) since that Batangas day.
I really want to keep those changes and make them happen, if that makes any sense, which I think it does. I guess I need more initiative myself on doing so and actually start early and not waste time.
Then again, I think I am doing too much and I don't get time to rest enough anymore and spend time with my friends and maybe that's why I'm giving myself this lax time.
Oh well, now or never, right? I guess now would be the perfect time to start than any.
I don't know what I am typing. Everything's just word vomit. Gahd. Is my grammar even correct? :( Oh, help me. I'm having multiple typos while writing this.
Lunes, Agosto 18, 2014
... Free Day
Well, today was nothing special. Spent hours doing nothing when I could've done something. But then again, as I think about it, I think it was an "okay" day since I got to rest a bit and actually do nothing.
it just stressed my brain as hell. I think that I have changed and that there's a lot of me that I have got to bring back and might as well start that today.
I think I'm getting too serious and too work-oriented. I'm losing the side of me that can just be alone and be happy. I'm needing people to surround me and I need to interact. It's not such a bad thing when you think about it, but I think with it, I lose me.
I don't want to lose me. It's something that I love and it's a part of me that people love and they have known. It would be unfair to take it away. Is it because I'm becoming familiar with the people I am with? Or is it because of something else?
I guess I got to figure that out, too. Gosh. Too many things to figure out, but I'm glad I know what I have to do and I'm getting there someday, even in snails pace. I'll get there.
it just stressed my brain as hell. I think that I have changed and that there's a lot of me that I have got to bring back and might as well start that today.
I think I'm getting too serious and too work-oriented. I'm losing the side of me that can just be alone and be happy. I'm needing people to surround me and I need to interact. It's not such a bad thing when you think about it, but I think with it, I lose me.
I don't want to lose me. It's something that I love and it's a part of me that people love and they have known. It would be unfair to take it away. Is it because I'm becoming familiar with the people I am with? Or is it because of something else?
I guess I got to figure that out, too. Gosh. Too many things to figure out, but I'm glad I know what I have to do and I'm getting there someday, even in snails pace. I'll get there.
Linggo, Agosto 17, 2014
My Future
My future is something dear to me. It isn't something too specific or too technical, it's just lovely. Well, in my eyes, it is.
My future to me doesn't picture me in a corporate attire, leading people around, having a huge force behind me, No. My future to me is simple.
I just have to do what it takes to get me there, but I guess that's something I have to work on. My future to me is just a group of people in harmony because we've finally found peace and we've finally found harmony.
This image I have in my mind is just pure serene. it's just a bunch of people looking at the stars and those stars represent not the money they have made, not the achievements they have done, but the hearts that they have touched in their life time.
These stars will be of different colors and these stars will be of different sizes because the people who have touched these hearts have different hearts as well.
It may seem that we are all different in the outside and it may seem that we have everything figure or not figured out, but no matter what, we all have to go back and rethink everything that we have done and if it actually matters because our past make our future. Our past make us who we are.
The past is what we are and the past is what we will always be.
We can remake and choose the path to our future, but our past will forever be interchangeable.
That Very First Day
8.16.14
For this day, we had loads to do. I got to know the people I was with and we did a bunch of activities together and I found comfort in them because it felt like we were all fighting for the same thing, different as they may appear to all of us and as the day passed, we grew tired as our bellies got bigger.
We were fed every 3 to 4 hours, if not 2.
With everything and everyone around me, I found peace. I found peace in each individual because they all had that motive and they all had that drive and it inspired me to be like them. I mean, we were all there for whatever purpose we wanted and it might seem that we had everything figured out, but truth is, we don't.
We live life every second of every day not knowing what to expect next, but knowing what we want to make of it.
We live life every minute of every day with the feeling that we have to make something count or something worth in our life time.
We live life every hour of every day with the people that we love and sometimes forget that they are the most important thing we could ever attain.
We live life every day for the rest of our lives having a goal in our mind, not knowing how to reach it, but having the desire to do so.
We live life every day for the people around us, thanking, loving, and living.
For that very first day that we were all complete and I felt belongingness to a bunch of people I have never been close with before, I felt their hearts. I felt their hearts and I felt mine and I felt that feeling that I know we can do something great, that someone believes in me and I believe in them as well.
Sometimes, that very first day is all that you need to bring the world to a better place.
Mag-subscribe sa:
Mga Post (Atom)