8 Days

So it's been 8 days since I wrote one. 

Maybe it was out of not having the interest to do it? Then again, maybe it was because I wasn't in the mood to.

The past couple of days, I haven't been myself. More like the past term. Haha. But I'll try to recall all that I've done through the past 8 days to the best of my capabilities.

I'll also recall August 23rd because I noticed I wasn't able to make a blog entry for that as well.


AUGUST 23

That day, I guess I just forgot to write a blog post, which says a lot about my remembering skills. I guess, we can't take it out of Filipinos that "ningas-kugon" kind of thinking. But at most, we can simply make the best out of it? In a way that, even if we are "ningas-kugon," we'll still find a way to go back to our tracks. 

We shouldn't stop the moment we know we aren't doing the thing we did last week, we should still continue because we know it's for our own good. 

AUGUST 25

We had no classes this day and instead of studying for my INTFILO exam as I should have been the past few days, I was doing nothing.

I was watching series, movies, and all that rather than studying. Gosh! I was even reading a book that I wasn't supposed to rather than the one I am really supposed to read. This says something about my studying habit. 

I know, I know. I've already told myself to get it back together and actually work hard this time, but I don't know. I think it's becoming a habit of mine that I have to change.

I don't always have to cram, but I do. Luckily enough, I did great on the finals I had for this week, but I can't shag off the feeling that I am capable of so much more and I am not doing it.  

AUGUST 26

For this entry, I'd like to recall one incident. I'm not technically sure of when it actually happened, I think that it was on the 23rd, but I'll write it now.

Oh, by the way, today, finals got cancelled. Not that I have any finals today, but the cancellation of classes really brought up some messed up schedules that no one really needed. This also affected one of the finals I had on the 30th, but more on that on the 30th day.

As for the incident on August 23rd, as stated in my other blogs, on of my friends talked to me about something and that something was also part of something about our friend.

Now this friend, she doesn't have to study and she's really smart. I used to not like people like that, but my friend opened my eyes that these people are amazing and I should not "hate" them or be annoyed of them.

I just get really annoyed because they seem to know everything and I get even more annoyed that they can back it up. I know my argument was weak, but I just had to say it to let it out. Again, I haven't been myself for the past term. I have been very grumpy and sad and not me.

I used to have this motto that, smile everyday because what's the point of being sad? For the past term, I have been nothing but sad because of reasons unknown to even me. Going back, that day, that friend and I talked with a couple bunch of friends and we hanged out.

She told us about her childhood a bit and how she really can't help it because her brain runs 2x faster than the ordinary. Maybe, I'm not sure, I was about to get annoyed, but I didn't. Because I remember that I also say, people are people, they have their reasons and we have to accept them for who they are. 

But I'd like to be her some day. I'd like to be that girl who knows it all and can back everything that she says. But not too much because I'd hate to be the person that I used to get annoyed of. Maybe a better version, yeah. 

AUGUST 27

Day before our BASFIN1 exam and again, I did not study. My Mother told me that my studying time was at night and that she knows. But again, I can't shake the feeling that I could study earlier and make more use of my time and use it wisely.

Then again, when I study during the morning, I can't seem to focus. I can only focus if I study in the morning when I'm outside and I'm walking. 

We moved to Manila several years ago and moved to another house because they said that our old one was going to get demolished. It still hasn't, just so you know. Anyways, there.

There is really no room to walk around here, but this home is more of what I could really ask of. So yeah, I wasn't able to write a blog post because I had to study, but I ended up studying until 1 AM and just wasting my time until 2 AM. 

I study relaxed, but still no excuse. 

AUGUST 28

Today, I found out that I technically didn't have to study for my exam. Hay. 

Oh well, but the professor did say that I lost nothing out of it, which made a good point. I like our professor on this subject. He's really nice and caring about his students and makes me really want to thank him as a professor.

He really cares and I want to be like that one day. He cares and he does everything he can to help everyone he can. He doesn't care if you do this and you do that because he allows you to experience things and allows you room for mistakes. 

There really should me more teachers like him rather than teachers who spoon feed you things that you don't really need. This professor teaches students that life isn't that hard. Well, students already somehow know that. But this professor doesn't do "revenge" kind of teaching. He says life isn't that hard because you just have to find the right groove to it. 

It isn't all about memorization and stuff because even Doctors have their instructions to follow. It's about understanding the concept and actually knowing what it means. 

I want to study like that someday, understand and not memorize, so that I can remember all these topics even when I'm older. I want to retain the knowledge that I get from my high-priced education. I WANT TO RETAIN KNOWLEDGE. 

AUGUST 29

The day wherein I'm supposed to study INTFILO, but I'm not. Again, lazy me. That's just how my day went. My family went out and I went with them even though I was supposed to study. Oh, I remember something from the 27th. I was supposed to be studying, but I went to school to pass a paper for my little sister, which kept me really annoyed because sometimes, I don't like her cramming because she can't deliver for herself. She has to ask huge help from other people in order to do this.

Going back, we went outside and I was reading the book I was supposed to for my INTFILO exam, but I never really finished it.

I paid more attention to "repairing" my worn our 4-5 years ago shoes because I didn't like what my Mom liked and we couldn't find anything nice and because there's a debut I have to attend tomorrow. 

I slept late once again, wasting my time, but I am glad that I had a bonding time with my Mom. Just so sad that things aren't the same anymore. I can see that we're all repulsive and I plan to change that today, September 1. 

I want to feel the love emanating and oozing out of my family from now on and stop looking like we're a hard ass. 

AUGUST 30

Today is our group oral exam in INTFILO and you have no idea what we had to do for a reschedule even though it was just simple. When classes got canceled that Tuesday, the exams got moved to next Tuesday, but someone said that the Accounting exams be moved this Saturday.

Therefore, my two other group mates, (when writing numbers, I remember when my friend told me about a rule and I just researched it know) had exams on Saturday from 12-3. AND we also scheduled our group oral exam from 3-330 PM. What a luck, huh?

My group mates had exams the whole week and we didn't really got the chance to review. There was even this incident last Friday when one of my group mates and I went to school to study, but I ended up finishing something else. I felt so bad because my priorities were getting mixed up and I was not able to manage my time properly. Also, I am not able to keep up with my "resolutions" that I made in MOVE-EL, even now. I have nothing else to do and I still sleep late and I still wake up late. It really saddens me, but I have been really tired.

Going back, after their examinations, I decided to buy food for my friends and then, we studied. My friend, Tony, was a really big help because he actually lent me his phone, so I could just simply study the summaries of the chapters rather than reading the whole book as we were asked to do so. Thing is, with that summary, there was already an analysis and it allowed me to understand the book even more. 

I like the way Tony is the kind of friend that really helped you no questions asked. He doesn't think of what he gains and loses when he helps, he just does. I wish I could be like that some day. He's a very selfless person. Also, I like the way that he is smart in his own way, like we are all smart in our own way.

Later on, we had the exam, I won't elaborate about the rules any further, but we did quite well. Our professor said that she thought that our group was the best group or that we were just really prepared. We got a high grade from that exam. 

I want to realize the great things I have when I have them, like group mates, and not when we're about to part. 

Exercise doesn't happen every other day as well for an hour. Or even for 30 minutes. My right knee and ankle, not really ankle, but somewhere down there really hurts when I start to run or something. Hay.

Also, today's the debut of my friend and I really didn't get something for her. I wore a dress and Tony went wit me to get make up on. I decided that I must learn to place make up for myself, so that we don't have to keep spending on it. It was a fun night. BLOCK MATES <3.

AUGUST 31

Today, woke up late. Slept late. Watched series whole day. Not sure if it was worth it, but was really just fun. I am going to sleep early tomorrow and make most out of my time. Hay, Mel. Work harder. 

TODAY

Last night, I started to reflect on myself and how I wanted to change how I am. I want to go back to being the kid for my parents, so they know that I love them. My brother and mother's birthday are coming up as well.

Also, I planned today that I'd clean the house and totally forgot about the idea that my friends and I are supposed to make a paper today, but we do not know where to meet. I guess, to be postponed for tomorrow. I'll just finish this blog post. Finish the episode I'm watching, go downstairs, take a bath, go to school, and then, contact my friend. Or maybe I should contact my friend first before I go to school. Yup. That's the better idea. 

By the way, I'm going to school to get some papers and not to meet my friend because that friend studies at UP Diliman. Haha.

Anyways, September. I'm going to be an improved and better me for you. Or for me as well. :D